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Jet Fuel Formula Episode 15: The Inspector Detectors or A Kick in the Plants/Transcript
Narrator: '''Well, sir, our heroes are still in a slump in their efforts to bring back a mooseberry bush, for in our last episode, the wily Boris disguised himself as a plant inspector and sprayed the last mooseberry bush in the country. When the cloud of spray was gone, so was the inspector, and so was the bush. '''Bullwinkle: '''Boy, that's what I call a powerful spray. Didn't leave leaf nor whisker of either of them. '''Rocky: '''Well, there goes our last chance of getting a mooseberry bush back to Washington. '''Bullwinkle: '''You mean...? '''Rocky: '''Yup, we failed. '''Boris: ''(laughing triumphantly in the distance)'' 'Rocky: '''What's that? '''Bullwinkle: '''Oh, it's just some Indians going by in a canoe. '''Narrator: '''But if that canoe had been closer, the boys would have seen that it didn't hold Indians at all, but Boris and Natasha, and between them, the mooseberry bush. But Rocky and Bullwinkle were too concerned with how to get back to Washington. '''Bullwinkle: '''Can't fly back. Our plane's crashed. '''Rocky: '''Check. '''Bullwinkle: '''Can't walk back. Takes too long. '''Rocky: '''Check. '''Bullwinkle: '''Can't go by boat. Haven't got a boat. '''Rocky: '''Che...Wait a minute! Sure, we've got a boat! '''Bullwinkle: '''We have? '''Rocky: '''Yeah, right up in that fur tree. '''Bullwinkle: '''Oh, sure, Rocky. ''(to himself) ''The poor kid's been in the woods too long. He's fur-crazy '''Rocky: '''No, look! '''Bullwinkle: '''Rocky, that's our wrecked air-i-plane. '''Rocky: '''Not for long. Come on. ''(Rocky climbs into the tree) 'Narrator: '''And so, a short time later... '''Boris: '''You see, Natasha? It's like taking candy from baby. '''Natasha: '''You know, dollink, I have funny feeling we're being followed. '''Boris: '''Followed? Who could follow us? ''(laughs) ''We stoled only canoe on river. It's just impo...(gasps)'' 'Narrator: '''Sure enough, they were being followed. Rocky and Bullwinkle had turned their smashed aeroplane into a boat, and the plane's propellers made excellent double-bladed paddles. '''Boris: '''They...they're gaining on us! '''Natasha: '''Like taking candy from baby, huh? '''Boris: '''You ever tried to take candy from baby? It's pretty hard. '''Narrator: '''But Rocky and Bullwinkle, with no telescope, didn't know that they were so close to their goal. They'd have been even more dejected had they known what was coming, for just around the next bend in the river, Boris was planning a rather unpleasant surprise. ''(Boris is seen chopping down a tree) 'Boris: '''There. This should get rid of those two idiots. '''Natasha: '''But your last instructions say, "Do not kill moose." '''Boris: '''Who's killing moose? ''(chuckles) ''I'm just chopping down tree. It's my fault he happens to be underneath? '''Natasha: '''Shh! ''(whispering) ''Here they come. '''Narrator: '''And Boris started the huge tree on its way down. '''Natasha: '''You aren't even going to holler "timber?" '''Boris: '''Of course I am. Listen. ''(whispers) ''Timber. ''(cut to Rocky and Bullwinkle just below) 'Rocky: '''Hokey smoke, Bullwinkle! Look! ''(Rocky and Bullwinkle brace themselves and hang on to each other) 'Narrator: '''The enormous tree hurtled down at our heroes. But unfortunately for Boris, it was just a little too big. It fell all the way across the river and hit a cliff on the other side. But the force of its falling snapped it in two, and half the tree drove through the bottom of Rocky's makeshift canoe. '''Bullwinkle: '''We're leaking, Rocky! How are we gonna get rid of that thing? '''Rocky: '''We're not, Bullwinkle. That's a mast. '''Bullwinkle: '''With pinecones on it? '''Rocky: '''Sure. The wind blowing through the tree makes it act like a big sail. '''Bullwinkle: '''Well, I'll be a...moose. '''Rocky: '''You ''are ''a moose. '''Bullwinkle: '''Yeah. I wanted something easy. '''Rocky: '''We'll be in Washington in no time. '''Bullwinkle: '''Yup, if we don't sink first. '''Narrator: '''So, with Rocky in the crow's nest and Bullwinkle at the tether, the strange craft sped down the river. '''Boris: '''Natasha, this requires quick thinking and positive action. '''Natasha: '''What we're going to do? '''Boris: '''Run like rabbits! Come on! '''Narrator: '''And a moment later, Boris's canoe started downriver with a furious burst of speed. '''Boris: '''Faster, Natasha, faster! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Narrator: '''And so began the strangest boat race ever held: the cross-country canoe contest from Minnesota to Washington, D.C. Will our boys catch up with the spies before their sort-of boat sort-of sinks? Don't miss our next episode: ''"Canoes Who?" or "Look Before You Leak!"